Smells!!!

1 of the things that always like keeps striking me is the sent of my bodyspray. it is cute and pink and called "flirty" wich is about rite i think!!! it smells quite strong when its first on but then goes away xcept at odd moments when i just get a little hint of it. can be totally distrating when it happens in a meeting lol!!!!!!

Reminders

One of the things about the bra, panties and tights combination is that I never quite forget that I'm wearing them. The thong slides up between my butt cheeks. The tights press all over my legs. And the bra... I'm always aware of it. A constant light constriction around my chest. Every time I breathe I feel it. A reminder. The thought that follows: I am Bekki.

There's something secure and comforting about it. Like a strong boys arms wrapped around me. Escape is impossible... And rapidly becoming undesirable.

<3 Bekki <3

I don't know what I'm doing. I sat through all of the x-factor today. And I really did think that Frankie was cute. I found myself thinking "if I post about how cute Frankie is, maybe that will please him."

I don't know who he is. I'm sure he's someone I see often. Maybe a colleague. Maybe a "friend", maybe just someone who I pass in the street on a regular basis.

I don't know. I look around with suspicion. But I /know/ he's watching. And I know how much damage he could do to my life. So I try and please him. And maybe this post will displease him and I'll be in trouble. But I don't... No, I do care. I'm scared, and I hate him, but I'm also horny /all the time/ lately.

So I'll post this, because I guess I know that it'll please him to know the state he's got me in.

WTF?

I have one of those feed thingies set up to read like blogs and celeb news and things? So that I can keep up like im supposed to?

And im like scanning down the headlines and i go
The Stone Roses Comeback? ... nah. dull.
young-apprentice: lord-alan-sugar-unveils-12-new-wannabes ... nah. business is like *yawn*

The-Big-Question-Do-Demi-Moore-and-Ashton-Kutcher-deserve-some-privacy? Well i think that's a good question! *read*
Elle Women in Hollywood Tribute event – the frocks ... all over it like Selena on Justin.

what is happening to me?

<3 Bekki <3

Thoughts

It's been two days, Bekki. Tell me, how does it feel?

I expect another magazine report by the end of the weekend.

Sir.

I'm scared. I cried myself to sleep last night. But I'm not sure if I'm more scared by the threats Sir made, or by how every time I say "I am Bekki" there's a bit inside me that leaps up for joy.

I didn't have to respond like that to my "concerned reader" - I'd already been looking at pictures of "The Wanted" and thinking how like cute they are.

Those "like"s seem to be dropping in unbidden.

I don't know if I cried because of Sir or because of that mean concerned reader.

I just don't know. My head is spinning and I don't know if that's because I'm falling or flying, scared or thrilled, happy or sad.

<3 Bekki <3